Cutting Edges: Gender and Fashion

Let your clothes come out the closet.

I often find myself staring into my closet trying to make something out of nothing. Usually, I do. October 19, 2022, I wore a skirt as a top. It wasn’t a pencil skirt but a denim skirt that actually used to be a pair on denim shorts. I got the shorts from my mom, and I tried the jorts look, but I didn’t like it, so I made it into a denim mini skirt I knew I would get more use out of it that way. Pretty soon after, I spent a week wearing skirts as tops. This exercise was to see how far I could push my closet and as a result myself. Five clothing items turned into ten.

Skirts as tops

December 16, 2022. At this point, star shapes were pretty popular and I couldn’t afford anything new. I had an oversized mustard yellow sweatshirt and I somehow realized I could cut a star into the middle of the shirt and connect it with a chain. Coincidentally this is around the time I received my first binder in the mail.

I jokingly posted on Twitter something along the lines of “I’m non-binary of course I cut up my clothing.” Fast forward a year and some change, this is the crux of my personal style. I tell everyone fashion is supposed to be fun. Getting dressed is supposed to be fun. Deciding what to wear and when to wear it should be fun.

A Case for Raw Edges

This may come as a shock to some people, but I don’t know how to sew more than a simple straight stitch. In the meantime while I learn how to sew, I embrace raw edges. You may be familiar with Marie Kondo. She’s known for the Marie Kondo method of folding, tidying, and discarding. Essentially, you don’t keep things that spark joy and everything serves a purpose. In a way, the purpose of clothing is to hide our sins and nakedness (see: Genesis), but clothes are more than that. I advice against filling the void with clothes, but if you do that (like I do) then sometimes, a specific item was to fill a void, to put out the whole burning in your pocket.

My closet is split 50/50 new and secondhand. Regardless of an items history, it should fear my pair of scissors that rest on my bookshelf. Clothes aren’t made for my body, so I make them for my body. I bought a Black dress to wear to work, but I didn’t try it on in store. It didn’t fit even if I wore a chest binder. I split the dress into a bolero and skirt/top. Long ago, I resolved to stop letting clothes tell me whether my body was good or not. All bodies are good bodies. Since this was a late night after work project and I don’t have a sewing machine, I wore the raw hems to work and I felt good.

Saturn Johnson for Citrus Magazine by Celosia Willison

In a sea of jeans turned skirts turned miniskirts turned shirts, there are a lot of raw hems and a lot of new-old items. Raw hems represent the transition my clothes go through when they become mine. By cutting a pair of jeans into a mini skirt, I fundamentally alter the purpose of that item of clothes and it gets a new lease on life. Being transgender feels similarly, as I transition, I get to decide the life and purpose that I have from changing my name to binding my chest. Clothes are the stories that we tell everyday.

A Cutting Edge Gallery

In the Saturnverse, denim is the gift that keeps on giving. The main parts of this outfit (top skirt and bottom skirt) are shockingly enough sponsored by my parents. The top skirt is one of the denim shorts mentioned above. The bottom skirt was a pair of carpenter pants that I stole from my father. He got them from Walmart and wore them to work at the railroad. I wear them to go shopping. It’s actually a bit of a Canadian tuxedo.

As you can see, I don’t play about denim on denim or this particular skirt top. The story here is unclear but I know two things: I was having a masculine day and I was feeling myself. In a lot of ways, masculinity has always felt inaccessible to me, and I never felt I had a role model for the my style but masculine. Masculinity is still something I’m experimenting with, but over time, I realized I can feel masculine in a skirt. This might not seem groundbreaking, but the twitter discourse on whether someone can be/dress masculine and wear skirt would shock you…Another aspect of this outfit I enjoy is the visible underwear. I remember being a young lesbian and wanting to try lesbian masculinity. All the studs at my middle school were sagging and I wanted to as well. The way I sagged in middle school was unfortunate, so I won’t be sharing it. I don’t sag often as it doesn’t usually work with what I’m wearing, but it is always in my heart. Also stored in the closet of my heart is a durag. Short hair is masculine to a lot of people which is fine, but it isn’t to me. Remembering that I own durags provides a reward every time I remember. It’s five dollars in a purse you haven’t worn recently. Masculine is a feeling and feelings vary person to person, but when I wear a durag I feel like I’m HIM.

Photos by my father, White Sands, New Mexico.

Technically, this outfit doesn’t have any raw hems, but it captures the essence. Raw hems is about inspiration and refashioning items into something you are happy with or need in the moment. I will admit, I am a TikTok user and I do derive inspiration from there. In this particular case, I was inspired to wear pants as a bolero. This outfit was during spring break when I was travelling west with my dad and I knew we would be visiting the sand dunes, so I wanted to create a Dubai-inspired look. Enter: my best friends cargo pants. I don’t own that many neutrals but luckily I have a best friend. The green “dress” is a skirt because why wouldn’t it be? The jeans once belonged to my father and now they belong to me and are no longer jeans. Oops. I’ve never really been big on pants…

Finished Looks

I wear a lot of clothes and am trying to buy less. (It isn’t working.) Before you buy something, ask yourself, “WWANBID"?” What would a non-binary individual do? Seriously, can you make a new clothing item out of something you already have. It’s okay to cut your turtleneck into an off the shoulder top. Your clothing should serve you not the other way around. Transitioning your clothing does not come without its drawbacks. Sometimes, I catch myself wishing my denim skirts were a bit longer or I had a pair of jeans I didn’t chop up. When I wear the star sweatshirt, my chest is usually cold, and I have a lot of scrap fabric. Lack of coverage notwithstanding, realizing that my clothes are alive has breathed life into me.